Monday, August 27, 2007

A Recommended Accommodation

Good Evening, Zombloke the motherfucking Second here. We here at MB-1 have located a suitable housing unit in the event of a zombie invasion. It is presented below:

This is probably one of the more ideal hideaways in Singapore. Why? Simple.
1) It's a provision shop.
2) It has roughly 2 entrances one in front and one in the back.
3) It has a second story vantage point which can serve as a useful crow's nest.
4) The housing unit on top most likely has a loo and perhaps even a kitchen which can be used to cook food.

The provision unit at the bottom of this establishment caters for both food and water. Furthermore, the bottles of alcohol and other assorted chemical and household appliances on sale can be converted into useful weapons such as molotov cocktails, home-made pipe bombs or even a good ol' scotch on the rocks. Never underestimate the usefulness of your local provision store. It's named as such for a reason and that's to ensure your survival during a zombie invasion.

Secondly, the presence of a housing unit on top of the store ensures that you'll have full access to sanitary facilities and perhaps a kitchenette. Again the gas cylinders could be useful in the event of an escape or an overly dramatized last stand.

The vantage points from the second floor and above also proves useful for spotting potential threats/survivors.

The fact that there are only two entrances means that it will be easy to lock down and secure the premises.

However, that can be a double-edged sword. With only two entrances you stand a strong chance of being surrounded and should a breach ever occur, then you're pretty much as screwed as a prostidude at a Thai strip club. Hence it is advised that you come up with a contingency plan as soon as possible. Having a large RV or a hum vee in the back scores bonus points.

This brings me to the end of this snippet on Possible Hideouts Should A Zombie Invasion Occur In The Near Future Which Is Highly Likely If You Think About It And Consider The Signs Heralding Its Occurance In The Next Decade Or So. Feel free to utilize and manipulate this guide to your advantage because after all, we're here to keep you alive.

To you, From me.
Zombloke II
Radioactive Mutant Llama Committee Chairman
Resident President of the Institute of Mental Health
Global Citizen

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