Monday, August 20, 2007

Possible causes of Zombie Attacks

What the farg causes humans to turn into slobbering and brainless ZOMBIES that hunger for brains?

Over the years, studies involving the causes of zombie invasions have formulated a few theories.

The "VIRUS" Theory

George A. Rom. is a staunch believer of this theory. Basically, a virus is loosed upon the world; resulting in all the dead coming to life. As long as you die, you become a zombie. This is rather bleak.

Did you know that...

1) 39892642 people die a second?

What the farg are we gonna do with more and more dead people running around on the streets? Also, the birth rate will go down tremendously because people are less likely to have intercourse with zombies battering on their barricades with their fists. Less and less people will be alive to fight the zombies, and sooner or later, the world will be overtaken.

The "I-bit-you-and-now-you're-screwed" Theory

Basically, this theory states that as long as you do not get bitten, you remain as a human. Thus, the nature of this theory is highly suggestive of the entire zombie invasion stemming from a single "Host" that spreads the entire zombie plague through the biting and infecting of others. While this theory is less bleak as dead bodies do not turn into zombies, its still pretty screwy, especially when someone you know gets bitten and is in the process of being transmogrified into a zombie.

Many sub theories have stemmed from these 2 main theories. Most zombie movies have left the trigger to the event unknown, making it purposefully vague with intent to intrigue.

While both situations precipitate into a take-over of the world (by zombies), it is still possible to fight off a zombie invasion if we stay prepared and vigilant.

On that note, I am signing off.



Anonymous said...

Are you serious???? You got 2 be kidding The way every body dies in the future is by God Okay... not by any Zombies

Anonymous said...

Are you serious you talk about movies being vague that was the biggest waste of my time the belief of the bte theory is that the bite has so much bacteria in it that the body shuts down and you die and then the "zombie virus" ,whatever it may be, reanimates your body learn your stuff before posting a website you uneducated maggot

Survivor_1 said...

HAHAHA, learn your stuff??? WTF!!! Besides the fact that its completely fictional, i dont think theres much to learn on a non-existant subject. There is however, also the "parasite" theory, like in Dead Rising. So many different improbabilities could cause a zombie uprising. Anyway, who said ALL zombies were necessarily dead???

Survivor_1 said...

And before you call somebody else an "uneducated maggot", try learning how to use full stops and other punctuation...Douche.

Kit said...

This is not the original anonymous porter, but Survivor 1, you make me giggle, in a good way. As you said, it's fictional and there are a multitude of possible reasons. This article is not a waste of time. But I do believe the bite method could also be a form of viral outbreak via blood-saliva transfer. But to each his own, and... You calling that guy a douche made me giggle. Lol

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